Orgasm Training

i love to cum. my entire body quakes and convulses. A powerful charge runs all through me, wave after wave, and covers me with a light coating of perspiration. it’s wonderful. i think about it a lot – a lot more than i should. But it’s something i haven’t experienced in over four months.

i'm not celibate, and my lovers are quite capable of bringing me to orgasm. i haven’t cum, because i haven’t been allowed to cum. My Owner strictly controls my body’s pleasure and pain. i'm not permitted to reach orgasm (or even masturbate) without His consent, and when He commands it, i must climax almost instantly. Failure in either guarantees terrible punishment.

Men have known for thousands of years that girls are more easily managed when their bodily functions are regulated. This is especially true of the female orgasm. Unlike the Male orgasm, which is the very basis of reproduction (and therefore, of life itself), there is no biological necessity for the female orgasm. girls never need to cum. Some cultures practice an extreme form of orgasm denial known as female circumcision – the surgical removal of the clitoris. The effectiveness of this method cannot be refuted, but it is a severe and permanent measure.

The reasons for denying a girl orgasm are fairly obvious. A girl pursuing her own pleasure is not wholly focused on pleasing her Master – her one true purpose in life. Failing in this mission, she is useless. Thus it seems a kindness to deprive her of one aspect of life (the orgasm) rather than allow her entire existence to be wasted. While some Men dismiss the matter at that, others believe that a subtler approach bears more fruit. Rather than completely denying a girl orgasm, some Men strictly control a girl’s orgasms, granting them infrequently as rare gifts.

There are two advantages to this approach. Firstly, girls respond to both the carrot and the stick, and an orgasm makes a very nice carrot (and vice versa?). More importantly, training a girl to control her orgasms teaches her discipline and submission. she learns that her body is completely under her Master’s command, and it takes real concentration and devotion to keep climax in check.

This is how i have been raised. It hasn’t been easy, and i’m not yet fully accomplished. Accidents still happen, particularly when i’m eaten. Cunilingus is sometimes used as a test of my control, and sometimes, it’s just one of my girlfriends showing me that she can exert her will over my body if she so chooses. (It’s difficult when your lover tells you that she loves what you’re doing, but she’s not allowed to climax.)

But more frequently, my failures are on the other side. i’ve missed several opportunities to cum by not being able to orgasm on command. When the command is anticipated, i can prepare myself and release at the instant the word is spoken. But when i don’t expect it when the word comes, i'm often too slow in executing. Within a few seconds, my Owner will grow impatient and withdrawal permission. Not only will i have deprived myself of a hugely generous gift, but i’m sure to be soundly whipped for my disobedience. Of course i could fake an orgasm. (i'm quite good at it.) But lying to her Owner is the worst sin a girl can commit. i have lied to my Owner and faked orgasms for him when i was younger, but i don’t do it any more. i'd rather suffer the lash than live with that guilt.

My other failing is in the area of masturbation and self-touch. Masturbation is a vital component of orgasm training. A girl simply cannot learn control without practice through masturbation. But how and when a girl masturbates are strictly up to her Owner’s discretion. When first learning discipline, the worst times for me were at night, lying alone in my bed. One of the (intentional) consequences of orgasm training is that the girl thinks about sex – a lot. Lying in the dark, it was difficult to keep my fingers away.

When i confessed this to my Owner, He wisely bound my hands to my headboard as he tucked me in and released me the next morning. Bound in this manner, i'd grow even more aroused. i'd wither and writhe. i'd turn on my belly and rub against the mattress, necessitating that my feet me bound, spread apart, so that i remained securely on my back. Of course, this lead to even greater arousal. i'd fantasize about being taken by force in this vulnerable state. But it did keep me from rubbing. i learned greater control in time.

i'm still occasionally bound for the night, either as described above or trussed up, “hog tied” and gagged. But this is for other reasons. Other than a brief self-caress of a breast or a fleeting pass over my bare cunt (both of which i dutifully report and for which i accept my deserved punishment), i don’t touch unless directed to do so.

i'm certain that these measures have made me a better girl, and hopefully, they have made me better able to serve and please my Owner. My Master. My Everything.

Managing girls at The Workplace

While researching an earlier post of sexual harassment, I came upon an old article discussing the management of female employees. It suggested that there are many advantages to hiring girls (lower pay, etc.), and that they can make excellent workers -- if properly managed. Several tips were offered. I liked the idea, and thought I might suggest some tips of my own, from the female perspective.

girls need clear, simple instructions

Men think logically. You’re problem solvers. You’re independent. we’re not. You need to tell me what You want me to do, and how You want me to do it. Don’t expect me to show imitative or find work for myself. Check on me frequently, and when i’ve finished with a task, give me another.

girls can only follow one Master at a time

i've worked summer jobs and part-time since I was 16. i've done everything from bagging at a supermarket to temping at law firms. Nothing is worse then having two bosses at once. Bob tells me to do something, then John says to stop and do something else. Next thing You know, both Bob and John are pissed at me, ‘cause whatever i've done is wrong. Don’t put me in that position. Make it clear. Take me around the first day and let everyone know “naomi belongs to me. If you want her to do something for you, see me first.”

girls make less money then Men, so be sensitive to our budgets

When You invite me to lunch or drinks after work, You pay. When a Man takes a girl out, He pays. Period. (Even when that girl is another Man’s wife.)

Most Bosses want to see Their girls in a specific type of dress, but work clothes can easily be a girl’s biggest expense. The easiest solution is to provide a uniform. If this isn’t practical, buy the clothes You want me to wear. Want to see me in a thong and micro-mini? Buy the outfit, hand it to me, and tell me “wear this tomorrow”. (Again, clear, simple instructions.)

Gifts are for keeps

If You hand me that thong, i'm going to assume it’s mine, unless You tell me otherwise up-front. “Wear this tomorrow, then wash it and have it back to me by Thursday.”

girls need more assurance

we’re emotional creatures; we need Your praise and approval. Tell me “good girl” if I deserve it. Give my ass a firm pat when You pass to let me know i’ve pleased You. Let me know You like having me around.

You need to let us know when we’ve displeased You

It’s all about feedback. If I’ve done something wrong, don’t stew about it or just go around grumpy. Tell me what i did, and then take me over Your lap and give me a sound spanking, so i won’t forget.

Sexual tension is counter-productive

You’re paid a lot of money to do what You do. If You’re fantasizing about the office girl, You’re wasting time and money. Just call me in for a quick blow job, and You can get back to productivity. (The tasks You’ve given me don’t require nearly as much concentration as Your own work, so it doesn’t matter if i stay horny – no need to waste Your time satisfying me.)

"child" brides

Every once in a while, you’ll hear about a Man being prosecuted for raping His wife. As if that weren’t enough to get your head spinning, some of these Men are charged with the “statutory” rape of their wives. (Don’t believe me? Here’s an example: Rape Charge Follows Marriage to a 14-Year-Old).

This one’s personal for me, because i could have been the main evidence in such a case if some self-righteous prosecutor had gone after my parents. You see, mom was 15 and pregnant when she married Dad; He was 20. The marriage didn’t last long. mom met my step-Father years later when she was 25 and He was 41; they married a year and a half after that. This one lasted, and while the age difference was much greater this time around, there was no danger of prosecution.

Before anyone gets their knickers all twisted, let me be clear: this post is not about pedophilia. it’s not about sexually abusing children. it’s about girls past puberty finding love with older Men, and the Men going to jail for it. How fucked up is that?

i'm focusing on the case of married couples for two reasons. Firstly, all of these couples were legally married. That’s like saying you can buy a beer, but you’d better not drink it. Secondly, i do think there are times when a Man should be charged with rape for having sex with a girl who isn’t His wife. Not because the girl is too young to legally give her consent, but because a girl can’t consent or not consent.

girls are property. And whether we’re 12 or 40, we don’t have the right to either invite a sex-partner or to reject one. Our Owners tell us who to have sex with and we obey. Married girls are clearly owned by their Husbands. Most of the rest of us are owned by our Fathers. if my Owner (my step-Father) gives a Man permission to fuck me, then it’s consensual, even if i don’t know that He has permission, even if it’s violent. But if permission was not granted, then it’s rape. No matter how much we both may have wanted it, it’s rape.

Rape is a crime against property, much like theft or arson. And since you can’t steal from yourself, it follows that you can’t possibly rape your wife. (There is the issue of so-called marriage rape or spousal rape, but i’ll save that one for another day.) So what does it mean when a Man is charged with the statutory rape of his wife? Perhaps the marriage itself is not lawful?

The law is contradictory in many areas, especially those involving sexual relations. In my own state of New Jersey, the age of consent is generally said to be 16. However, a Man can be charged with sexual assault for penetrating a girl who is at 16 or younger if He is 4 years or more older than she. So a 19 year old Man can have sex with a 16 year old girl, but a 20 year old Man cannot. Couples 16 years of age or younger can marry with the consent of both parents or a judge, and younger couples can petition the court if there is a pregnancy involved. So let me get this straight. If i’m 13 and pregnant, the Court may grant me permission to marry, even if my parents don’t want me to, but that same Court can turn around and charge my new Husband with sexual assault or even rape.

Marriage is generally viewed as a contract that transfers certain rights. In most religions, marriage is also recognized as a sanctioned institution for procreation and sexual intimacy. That’s pretty obvious. When a couple gets married, everyone expects that they’re now living together, sharing finances, and that on the night of the wedding, the Groom fucked His bride. Everyone expects this, because that’s what we know marriage to be. When we hear of a deviation from this formula, such as a couple living apart in two separate houses or a Husband and wife who have never engaged in sex, we might well say that’s not a “real” marriage.

Marriage is one of those things that are so simple and straight-forward, until Congress and the Courts get involved. Marriage should be a private affair. If my Father, my Owner, chooses to sell me to another Man (which is what a marriage contract is really all about), then it’s a matter between those two Men and no one else. We don’t need the Courts to tell us if the bride is old enough or if the Groom is too old.

And when the deal is done, everyone knows what it means: the Groom has taken possession of His bride, and He now enjoys all of the rights of ownership. He is expected to fully exercise and enjoy these rights. You wouldn’t buy a new car and never drive it, and you wouldn’t acquire a wife and never drive her either. You might “break-in” your new Porsche on the interstate. You’ll most likely break-in your new bride with a sound belt-whipping over your wedding bed followed by a hard fucking. ‘Cause that’s what marriage is all about.

Sexual Harassment

The world is a sick place. i don’t mean “sick” as in “perverted”; i mean ill. Ailing. Diseased. Neurotic. Case in point: sexual harassment.

No, i’m not about go on a PMS-fueled tirade about how Men are pigs for viewing girls as sexual objects (pa-leez!). What upsets me is that we even talk about sexual harassment, that there is even a concept called “sexual harassment”. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH “SEXUAL HARASSMENT”. it should be a non-issue. It’s natural. It’s healthy. It’s even fun (yes, for us girls too). And i guess that’s the problem. It seems that anything fun and natural has to be illegal and immoral; and that’s the sickness.

Here are some examples of sexual harassment i found from a casual browse of the web:

• Sexual innuendoes, unwanted jokes, comments, gestures, offensive words on clothing, and unwelcome comments and repartee.
• Unwelcome touching of a person’s body, hair or clothing and any other bodily contact such as scratching, patting, pinching, backrubs, neck rubs, brushes, hugs, kneesies, blocking, cornering, or pinning against the wall.
• Repeated requests for dates that are turned down or unwanted flirting.
• Transmitting or posting emails or pictures of a sexual or other harassment-related nature.
• Displaying sexually suggestive objects, pictures, or posters.
• Playing sexually suggestive music.
• Disparaging remarks to a person about his/her gender or body
• Intrusive sexually explicit questions.
• Rating a person's sexuality.
• Ogling or leering, staring at a woman's breast or man's derriere.
• Spreading rumors about a person's sexuality.
• Name-calling, such as "bitch", "whore" or "slut".
• Letters, notes, telephone calls, or material of a sexual nature.

Playing music? Jokes? Questions? Backrubs and neck rubs? And what exactly are “kneesies”?

When reading through sexual harassment policies, you’ll see words like “unwelcome” or “unwanted” a lot. If i’m secretly lusting after my boss, he’s allowed to give me all the kneesies he wants; otherwise, it’s harassment. But how is he to know if i’m lusting? He can’t ask me; that’s harassment. He can’t tell me that he likes me or try to flirt; that’s harassment too. Would it be simpler if we just chemically castrated all Men? i’m sure that’s next.

The truth is that we like being sexy; we like being desired. i personally love neck rubs. And if some old crone at the office doesn’t like your Playboy screensaver, well that’s just a matter of taste. You probably hate her shoes.

But there’s a more basic point to be made. It’s true that these activities are natural and (mostly) harmless, but even if they weren’t, they shouldn’t be illegal. Employer/employee plus Male/female leads to an inescapable conclusion: a girl’s boss has a right to her body.

Ok, let’s take this step by step. girls are chattel; Men own us. i think most of you understand this point, but if you don’t, i’ll revisit in a later post. For now, just go with me (or read some of the excellent websites i link to). So if we’re property, what does it mean when we take jobs? We’re not selling our labor power, since it’s not ours to sell. Anything we are and anything we can possibly offer belongs to our Masters. A job is really a Man or a corporation leasing us.

Think about when you lease a car. You promise to take good care of it and return it in good condition. You can’t sell it or wreak it or modify it too much, but other than that you can pretty much use it any way you want to. The lease doesn’t say you can only use it to drive to work, or that you can sit in the front seat but not the back. It doesn’t say the radio is off limits. You may not own the car but for the next three years or so, you can use it like you do.

A job is a little different, since we’re not chained to our desks (or our boss’ desks) 24/7. (Although that may come one day.) It’s more like we’re rented out during the work day and then returned to our owners each evening. But like a Man who pays for use of a car, our bosses who hire us can pretty much treat us like their own property.

Answer the phone? No problem. Get you coffee? Of course, i don’t mind. Lift up my skirt? Well you have a right to see what you’re paying for. Whether you want us to balance your books, do your filing or swallow your cum, it’s your right to use us as you wish, and it’s our duty to do our best to please and serve well. And if we don’t perform to your standards, we should be punished, first by you, and then by our Owners when they learn of our shame.

That’s the deal when a Man hires a girl. So where’s the harassment?

Biting the Pillow

i clench fistfuls of feathers, smothering myself in a frantic plea to black-out. Tears, sweat and drool soak the covers – i really need more standby linens. i have a love/hate relationship with my pillow. i’m hugging it, squeezing it, desperate for something to hold on to. i’m tearing at it, ripping it, pounding it with my fists and head… scratching and biting.

Then my head jerks back, pulled decisively by my rider. Like the trained beast that i am, i instantly recognize the command and obey. i push myself up and raise my head, turning to meet my tormentor’s eyes.

“Do you like that, bitch?”

Do i like that? What He’s doing to me? What a question. my entire body is in throbbing agony. my insides are literally being ripped apart. And it won’t end when he’s spent and finally pulls out of me; it’ll take days for the damage to heal.

How am i to answer? How doe He want me to answer? Am i meant to suffer for his pleasure? He hasn’t told me i'm being punished, but He doesn’t always. it’s His right to hurt me, to cause me pain… He hardly needs to announce His intentions. So am i meant to hate this treatment? Or is my suffering immaterial, just an inconsequential side-effect of his pleasure?

Not knowing the right answer, the answer He wants to hear, i simply confess the truth: “i love it.”

And i do. i don’t love pain; i'm not a masochist or a cutter. But i love being His… His to use, His to command. His to hurt. And that’s the point.

Is there something wrong with me? We’re taught from early childhood that we’re equals, the same. That marriage needs to be a partnership. That women can lead just as well as Men. i'm sorry; i just don’t buy it. You can argue biology or psychology, evolution or… or just about anything else you want to. You can come up with a thousand different reasons why it only *seems* like Men are superior, why it only looks like they’re meant to conquer, and we’re meant to serve. But maybe it seems that way, because that’s the way it is. Maybe i feel at home under the whip, because that’s where i’m meant to be.

i don’t know. i’m just a girl, and if i’m right, my opinion will never matter as much as a Man’s. But i have these thoughts rattling around inside my empty head, so let me spill a few out here and see what happens.